John Mulaney Presents: Everybody’s in LA

0:08

We’re gonna watch a few clips of stand-up comedians.

0:10

And being mental health professionals,

0:12

I’d like it if you gave me your assessment of what you see.

0:15

So, we’ll begin.

0:18

I didn’t hate my father.

0:20

My father wasn’t a bad guy.

0:22

For instance, I never once, not once, saw my dad hit my mother.

0:28

-Mm. -[audience laughs]

0:30

I mean, he was quick.

0:32

-And you can’t… -[audience laughs]

0:35

You can’t teach speed.

0:36

That comes from here.

0:38

[audience laughs]

0:39

I’ll never forget the one time I saw my dad’s penis.

0:44

[audience laughs]

0:47

I said, “Dad…

0:50

don’t text me shit like that.”

0:51

[audience laughs]

0:53

[man] Let’s pause there.

0:55

What’s your read on this comedian’s mental health?

0:58

He’s a trauma victim in my mind.

1:00

Um, you know, unresolved, deeply repressed.

1:04

My guess is he has difficulty expressing emotions,

1:07

poor interpersonal skills.

1:08

I would be concerned ’cause there’s a lot of repression here.

1:11

Yeah, I mean, I think anyone

1:13

that is casually talking about domestic violence,

1:16

that is a red flag.

1:17

And if he came to me and he is not married,

1:20

then I definitely would recommend a prenup.

1:22

I for sure think that he has depression and PTSD.

1:26

I want to see how often, if ever,

1:29

uh, does a picture of his father’s penis pop up when he’s sleeping at night.

1:32

Uh, does it disturb him from being able to get sleep?

1:35

It seems like it’s, uh, it’s a pretty sore spot.

1:38

[man] Let’s move on to our next subject.

1:41

We had to pull over at night at a gas station. Hmm.

1:45

My biggest fear: getting murdered.

1:48

[audience laughs]

1:49

Now, this one we pulled in,

1:51

the credit card machine didn’t work.

1:53

So, now I gotta go in that death hut.

1:55

[audience laughs]

1:57

That little mini mart.

1:59

You ever go into a mini mart at midnight?

2:03

There’s always a guy by the Gatorades just kind of looking at a Gatorade.

2:08

[audience laughs]

2:09

I’m waiting for him to just reload. [grunts]

2:12

[audience laughs]

2:17

[man] Okay.

2:18

I had four diagnoses.

2:20

So, one is paranoid personality disorder.

2:23

He imagines terrifying scenarios of harm, death,

2:26

to his family and friends.

2:27

I also threw in ADHD

2:29

’cause he has an impulsive, hyperactive quality to him.

2:32

And he’s got OCD in there,

2:34

a preoccupation with perfectionism and control.

2:37

He could be bipolar. It’s a mood disorder.

2:39

He could also have schizophrenia, which is a thought disorder.

2:42

He’d benefit from some mood stabilizers,

2:44

but probably antipsychotics,

2:46

-’cause we want to bring him down fast. -[man] Moving on.

2:49

So, roughly speaking, I gave my college about $120,000.

2:55

Okay? So you might say that I already gave them $120,000.

3:01

And now you have the audacity to ask me for more money?

3:06

What kind of a cokehead relative is my college?

3:10

You spent it already?

3:13

Where’s my money?

3:14

I felt like Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life

3:17

when he’s screaming at his Uncle Billy.

3:18

Like, “Where’s the money?

3:19

Where’s that money, you fat motherfucker?”

3:22

What diagnosis would you make here?

3:24

One, Peter Pan syndrome.

3:26

You know, they’re socially immature,

3:28

can’t really face adult responsibilities and realities.

3:31

If we were gonna look at celebrities

3:33

that may have had a Peter Pan type of complex and syndrome,

3:36

I would say Michael Jackson had a lot of that.

3:39

[man] Kojo, do you agree?

3:40

Uh, I got a bit of a different read on John’s mental health here.

3:44

Not to disagree with the former assessment,

3:46

but I believe that the majority, the large majority of his symptoms

3:49

can be explained by autism.

3:51

The cadence of how he moves on stage,

3:54

very rigid, very controlled.

3:56

The unbroken eye contact.

3:57

Also, the $120,000 was repeatedly mentioned.

4:01

And, uh, with a lot of people who are autistic,

4:04

there’s this strong sense of justice.

4:06

I also see histrionic personality disorder.

4:09

That’s when there’s a lot of theatrics.

4:11

-An admiration and praise junkie… -[inaudible dialogue]

4:13

…thrives on control and obedience of others.

4:16

If John was my client, um,

4:18

I would be worried about compulsive behaviors.

4:21

So, for John, I would just recommend

4:23

a limited conservatorship where, um, somebody could decide,

4:27

you know, whether he can purchase, make large purchases.

4:31

Somebody that can do that for him on his behalf until he gets better.

4:35

[man] With these diagnoses,

4:36

if John’s fame were to decrease, what would that be like for him?

4:39

It would be like a death.

4:41

It would be losing a part of him that he’s really, really enjoyed

4:44

and gotten a lot of validation for.

4:46

Because as his fame is decreasing

4:49

and that loss of identity kicks in,

4:52

he’s gonna rely on the people around him.

4:54

Those eight to 12 people who you’re the closest with,

4:57

Mom, Dad, managers, assistants.

4:59

Those people can look out for him, uh, as he deals with the anxiety

5:03

of not knowing what’s gonna come in the future.

5:06

Exactly.